The Cost of Yes
One of my favorite problems during the holiday is trying to fit all of my favorite foods on one plate. I don’t mind it when my foods touch- I prefer it when everything runs together! But I always try to get everything on the first round. At some point, I accept that I’ll have to come back for Round 2 before making my way back to the dinner table.
By the time November rolls around, many of us are barely functioning. We have ignored our physical, emotional, and financial boundaries and we are paying for it. We are frazzled, irritable, falling deeper into debt, and moving further away from the lives we want for ourselves.
This is a reminder that some of the emotional distress is self-imposed.
You do not have to stay on this hamster wheel.
When it comes time to cut back, we have a hard time accepting that something’s gotta give. If your world is on fire but you can’t possibly picture cutting out 1 or 2 items, it might be time to do some deeper digging.
Here are some things to try:
First, map out your daily and weekly schedule. What do you notice? What surprises you? What saddens or angers you about your schedule? How much time has been allocated for working versus resting? Is there any time available to be alone?
Second, make a list of your top 7 values. If you need some help, check out this resource: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/values-self-exploration
Third, consider how your life brings you closer or further away from these values. This is the part where many of us get stuck. Self-reflection takes time. You might know that you’re overscheduled and bubbling over with resentment, you might feel that your daily routines don’t align with your values or deeper sense of purpose, but maybe you haven’t had time to figure out a way to change things.
Keep in mind that people will continue asking you to do things but it is your job to honor your own limits. Each time you say no, you make more space for the most important things in your life. Make peace with FOMO- just because you experience it doesn’t mean it has to rule your life.
Disclaimer: This is not intended to be an exhaustive list and does not take the place of working with a licensed professional.
