High Control Groups

According to Krystal Shipps, LPC, PLPC, in Psychotherapy Network, a high control group requires the following:

1.      Fierce loyalty to members

2.      Obedience without questioning authority figures

3.       An “us versus them” mentality where outsiders are not trusted

4.      Extreme, black-and-white thinking

5.      Suppressing individuality for the sake of securing a place in the group

High control groups are often led by one charismatic leader. Sometimes the leader creates a tightly controlled leadership team to reinforce the rules.

People don’t typically wake up and decide to join a high control group. Your initial experiences with the group are typically positive. You experience a flood of attention, affirmation, and promises that you belong. It feels so great to be seen, wanted, and pursued! This is especially appealing if you’ve recently experienced a major life transition such as moving, going to school, ending a significant relationship, or surviving a traumatic event. So, when your intuition whispers, “Something’s off about this,” you ignore. The leaders are confident; they promise simple solutions to your loneliness, confusion, guilt, shame, or sense of unworthiness. And if you challenge them, you are met with a thought-terminating cliché, a term created by Robert Jay Lifton (Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, 1961). The thought-terminating cliché is designed to distract, discourage critical thinking, and shut down the conversation.

I would love to support you as you navigate transitioning out of a high control group. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and time to rebuild a safe, healthy support system and unlearn destructive messages that you picked up along the way.